But at last I now know I can get pregnant, because for the first time in my life, I am! It's very, very early, and 1 out of 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, and I'm at high-risk, so we'll just have to see what happens. But I am cautiously super-excited (!).
Sorry that I haven't picked up writing my Cillian/Naomie series, Past Performance Is Not Necessarily a Guide. I want to thank all the readers who took the time to comment and email me about the story during this unexpectedly long hiatus -- it really meant a lot to me. At this point, it's been so long and so much keeps happening in my life that I don't know if I will continue it, but you never know. I did a lot of the writing when I was in bed battling asthma-related infections, and while I've long since broken out of that particular bad run, if by chance I have to do bed rest for pregnancy, you never know what might happen.
Thanks again to everyone who was reading my series and this journal. Public posts are mostly the angsty smut, while friends-only posts have a much wider range of topics. I generally friend anyone who comments on my fic, although unfortunately I usually don't have time to read my whole friends list, and lately I haven't been reading anyone regularly. But if you'd like to be added to my friends list, please make a comment here or on another public post. And feel free to drop me a line anytime.
- Multitasking:something on Pandora in the next room
Many thanks go to my beta,
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lilithilien, who still made time for reading this chapter while on vacation! She rocks.Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, Het)
Summary: Cillian and Naomie at her secret second hotel room, continued.
Author's Notes: This one's pretty self-explanatory!
Disclaimer: Wholly fictional. Never happened. I don't know these actors, and believe me, I'm doing this for the obsessive love of writing, not for a single cent.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
Chapter 4: Tomorrow Never Knows
Chapter 5: Cill Me Now
Chapter 6: Everything Upended
Chapter 7: Do We Really Have To Talk?
( Chapter 8: INTOXICATION, EXALTATION. 'Give me a minute to collect meself. You just about destroyed me,' Cillian sighs. He thinks, 'Christ, that was so wrenchingly rippingly intensely gooood'... )
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
wranglers provoked some reflections on the validity of real person slash from me, and I thought I'd share them with y'all.The one thing I didn't say in my comments is that a heck of lot of Jake/Heath slash is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, friend. Especially when they make Jake Gyllenhaal a too-sensitive overly weepy guy. But hell, I'm totally Brokeback obsessed, I love Jake, and so-so smut is often still pretty hot!
Anyway, the BBM poster asked:
"I've noticed a lot of fanfiction posted here, but dealing with the actors, not characters of the movie. I've been reading fanfiction for almost 10 years now (scary thought -- started with the X-Files, then moved to Harry Potter, then HP Slash) and I haven't encountered this amount of actor fiction. Personally, I can't read it. These actors have given us the wonderful gift of bringing Jack and Ennis to life in the movie -- they've done a beautiful job. But shouldn't we be obsessing over the characters (I sure am!), not the actors? The story lives on in the written word and on the screen -- the actors have done their job and moved on. I guess I see it as a bit of an insult to transfer their work of developing and portraying these characters into their everyday lives. I guess I'm just curious why people read/write actor based fiction... ( Her post continued briefly... )
I responded:
( After a brief opening... ) But let's consider this from another angle. Isn't the recent film Capote RPF in a way? Aren't all dramatizations of historical figures and non-documentary celebrity biofics essentially RPF? Conversations are imagined, real people are combined into composites for dramatic simplicity, some motivations are emphasized while others are downplayed or ignored, sometimes relationships are invented, and so on and so on. Nonetheless, these works are taken very seriously, and concerns about inaccuracy are often sloughed off as to be expected in the genre. ( The rest of my comments... )
- Mood:
sick
Here's a very short poll on the topic of the Internet and the World Wide Wait, circa 4 1/2 years ago... Thanks!
Poll #713588 historical research poll (for fic accuracy)
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 22
Did you have a high-speed Internet connection in the fall of 2001?
View Answers
Yes, I had DSL at home.
4 (18.2%)
Yes, I had Internet cable at home. 3 (13.6%)
No, I only had dial-up at home. 15 (68.2%)
Did you use Internet services while traveling in the fall of 2001?
View Answers
Yes, I remember using dial-up at a hotel. 2 (9.1%)
Yes, I remember that a high-speed connection was available at a hotel. 2 (9.1%)
I actually saw wi-fi offered at a hotel in 2001! 0 (0.0%)
I otherwise used the Internet while traveling (but not at a hotel or friend's house). 4 (18.2%)
Nope. 14 (63.6%)
Did you live or travel in Europe in the fall of 2001?
View Answers
Yes, I lived in England. 2 (9.1%)
Yes, I traveled in England. 3 (13.6%)
Yes, I lived/traveled in Western Europe. 3 (13.6%)
I wish... but no such luck. 14 (63.6%)
Did you have a web site in the fall of 2001?
Did you spend a lot of time browsing the web then?
View Answers
Totally addicted. 15 (68.2%)
No, I spent much more time on email and list-servs. 4 (18.2%)
Don't remember. 3 (13.6%)
Were you on livejournal.com in the fall of 2001?
View Answers
Indeed, I was. 3 (13.6%)
I think so... it was some time around then that I joined. 2 (9.1%)
No, not yet. 17 (77.3%)
I have a suggestion for you about figuring this out...
- Location:bed
- Mood:
awake
lilithilien, rescued this chapter from two-dimensionality and pushed me to make the motivations clearer. (Thank you!!) Please recline, and enjoy.Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, Het)
Summary: Cillian arrives at Naomie's hotel...
Author's Notes: Alex is the film's screenwriter, Danny is the director, and Chris plays the ranking officer of the platoon. The friend Naomie mentions is purely fictional.
Disclaimer: So utterly and completely invented. Never happened. I don't know these actors, and my hours and hours of work were entirely unpaid.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
Chapter 4: Tomorrow Never Knows
Chapter 5: Cill Me Now
Chapter 6: Everything Upended
( Chapter 7: DO WE REALLY HAVE TO TALK? The mobile's ring startles Naomie. When she sees the name on the screen, her heart pounds wildly. With a raspy voice, she answers, 'Cillian?'... )
- Mood:
sleepy - Multitasking:"Why Can't I Touch It?" by the Buzzcocks
It turned out really well, thanks to the beta expertise and the thought-provoking insights of the magnificent
lilithilien, an idol of mine for sure (see her and her partner-in-crime's amazing _dirtyepic_).Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, Het)
Summary: Cillian tries to focus on getting back to work, but he's having trouble putting what happened between Naomie and him out of his mind.
Author's Notes: Danny is the film's director, Chris plays the ranking officer of the platoon. In real life, Cillian has said that he often listened to Radiohead's Kid A during the making of an earlier film; if you own the album, it might be fun to listen to it while reading this chapter.
Disclaimer: Entirely a fictional product of my sex-crazed mind! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story. All lyrics from songs composed by Thom, Ed, Phil and the Greenwood brothers.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
Chapter 4: Tomorrow Never Knows
Chapter 5: Cill Me Now
( Chapter 6: EVERYTHING UPENDED. Clad in army fatigues, Cillian sits waiting for the call that Danny and the crew are ready to shoot his one-on-one scene with Chris. He thinks, 'Thank god Naomie's gone back to London for a few days. She was turning me into a walking...' )
- Mood:
giddy - Multitasking:The Arctic Monkeys
lilithilien & _dirtyepic_ (thanks!)Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later
Rating: R (RPF, Het)
Summary: Cillian receives a note written on hotel stationery.
Author's Notes: The other real person mentioned plays a soldier in the film.
Disclaimer: Completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
Chapter 4: Tomorrow Never Knows
Chapter 5: Cill Me Now
( Preview of Chapter 6: NAOMIE'S NOTE. 'C, I thought you should know that I ran into Leo on my walk of shame down the hall this morning...' )
- Mood:
okay - Multitasking:Janet: If (I Was Your Girl) - thnx, iTunes shuffle!
EDIT: THIS POLL IS STILL ACTIVE, and will be until further notice. Thanks for sharing your feedback.
Oh, and if you missed anything: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5
POLL RESULTS SO FAR
Poll #628427 "Past Performance" fanfic feedback
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 30
Which chapter was your favorite?
View Answers
1. If Looks Could Kill - intro 2 (6.7%)
2. A Vulnerable Position - drunk lovin' at the pub 4 (13.3%)
3. Already Messy - drunk lovin' at the hotel 3 (10.0%)
4. Tomorrow Never Knows - anxiety sex dreams 4 (13.3%)
5. Cill Me Now - the morning after 4 (13.3%)
They all made me hot. 13 (43.3%)
Whose point of view do you enjoy reading best?
View Answers
I prefer to see things through Cillian's eyes. 9 (30.0%)
I'd rather be Naomie, having my way with Cillian. 7 (23.3%)
Either way it's good -- I like being a fly on the wall. 14 (46.7%)
What do you like best about this series?
View Answers
I read everything I can about Cillian Murphy. Love him! 6 (20.7%)
I like that the story stays in a realistic, almost believable zone. 17 (58.6%)
The sex is hot -- why else would I read this?!? 3 (10.3%)
I'll tell you my favorite thing in a comment below. 3 (10.3%)
In future chapters, I'd like to see...
View Answers
More romance 16 (55.2%)
More risk & kinkiness 19 (65.5%)
More involving them shooting '28 days later' scenes 7 (24.1%)
Conflict on the set as their secret comes out 10 (34.5%)
Another sex partner for Cillian, Naomie or both together 5 (17.2%)
My fanfic taste generally leans toward...
Do you read but not comment?
View Answers
Yeah, I'm a little weirded out by publicly commenting on an NC-17 story. 3 (10.7%)
Well, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say -- I'm a reader, not a writer. 8 (28.6%)
Nah, I love to squee. 17 (60.7%)
I found this fic by way of...
View Answers
ljseek.com 2 (6.9%)
A Cillian Murphy fan lj community 11 (37.9%)
A slash or fanfic community 8 (27.6%)
A friend's recommendation 2 (6.9%)
Your pushy suggestion, silly! 6 (20.7%)
How long should "Past Performance" be?
View Answers
I think you're almost at the end if you want it to honor the realistic tone. Wrap it up & write another pairing. 5 (17.9%)
Keep the affair going! They should buy some goddamn condoms and go for it! 23 (82.1%)
- Mood:
weird
I'm liking this chapter a lot -- had to stop myself from endlessly revising it. And I've got loads of new ideas for the coming chapters.
Friends, your comments are my only reward for my hours of silly work, so please hit me!
Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, Het)
Summary: All sobered up, Naomie tries to sneak out of Cillian's hotel room.
Author's Notes: Danny is the film's director. Leo is another actor who was drinking with Cillian and Naomie the previous night. I enjoy researching Irish and English slang and phraseology, so as usual there are a few little fun things tossed in; my beta in London is AWOL, so hopefully they're used correctly and there aren't too many out-of-place Americanisms (corrections are eagerly welcomed).
Disclaimer: As should be obvious by now, this is completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
Chapter 4: Tomorrow Never Knows
( Chapter 5: CILL ME NOW. Jostled into semi-consciousness, Naomie awakens to contradictory sensations. Her stomach feels hollowed out and her head is woozy and achy, but her skin tingles with arousal -- a lean, naked body is embracing her from behind... )
- Mood:
chipper - Multitasking:The Wailers - Sun is Shining
EDIT: Thanks must go to
buttercupgaud in the UK for sharing beta insights with me on this chapter.Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, M/F, Het, Angst)
WARNING: D/s, light S/M (but consensual)
Summary: The next day brings unanticipated after effects.
Author's Notes: "2nd AD" is short for second assistant director. The other real person mentioned plays a soldier in the film.
Disclaimer: Completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
Chapter 3: Already Messy
EDIT: Please take my first POLL -- it's about this fanfic series. ***Read this chapter first, 'cuz the poll has a spoiler, and you should probably read the 5th chapter too -- but then take the poll! It's fun and quick.
( Chapter 4: TOMORROW NEVER KNOWS. Naomie's insides are queasy. She drops her dizzy head into her hands, leans forward in her chair, elbows on her knees. 'Last night was crazy. What a bloody awful hangover. Never, never again... I'm never drinking that much again.'... )
Please, please, PLEASE -- if you like this series, give your friends links to it!
And tell me your favorite parts, as well as what doesn't work as well for you. Thanks.
Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, M/F, Het, Angst)
Summary: Cillian can't escape the pub; Naomie is getting drunk and flirtatious.
Author's Note: Other real people mentioned play soldiers in the film, except for Brendan Gleeson, who plays dad/cabbie Frank.
Disclaimer: Completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
Chapter 2: A Vulnerable Position
EDIT: Please take my first POLL***. It's fun and quick. ***But keep in mind that it contains a spoiler for the next chapter, so you might want to read that first. Thanks!
( Chapter 3: ALREADY MESSY. 'Now *that* was a really shit idea. Talk about asking for trouble,' Cillian's cloudy mind churns as he walks down the hall away from Naomie. 'That was unforgivably reckless in more ways than one. Fuck, she's incredible...' )
- Mood:
drained - Multitasking:ambien
Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, M/F, Het, Angst)
Summary: Naomie has a big crush on Cillian, but he's not single. Can she -- should she -- seduce him?
Disclaimer: Completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
Previous Chapter:
Chapter 1: If Looks Could Kill
( Chapter 2: A VULNERABLE POSITION. 'Well, bloody well kiss me then.' It's a command, but it catches in Naomie's throat, it feels like begging... )
Title: Past Performance Is Not Necessarily A Guide
Pairing: Cillian Murphy & Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later...
Rating: NC-17 (RPF, M/F, Het, Angst)
Summary: Cillian has a serious girlfriend, but he's seriously drawn to his beautiful costar.
Author's Notes: This story imagines a behind-the-scenes affair on the set of 28 Days Later. Two other real people referred to are Danny Boyle, the director, and Brendan Gleeson, a supporting actor.
Disclaimer: Completely fictional! I don't know these actors and I'm not making any money from this story.
( Chapter 1: IF LOOKS COULD KILL. Stumbling into the bathroom, Cillian curses under his breath, 'What the fuck?!?' He finishes the question in his head, '...am I doing flirting with her like that?'... )
- Mood:
bouncy - Multitasking:Fugazi: "Waiting Room"
